Navigating Grief: Insights from a Psychiatric Nurse Leader
By Brighid Gannon, DNP, PMHNP-BC
3 minute read
As a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I have dedicated most of my professional life supporting others through emotional struggles. Like many, I have experienced major tragedies. I wanted to take a moment to share the lessons that have helped me navigate my own grief. My hope is that this blog post may resonate with others who are experiencing their own journeys of loss.
Grief hurts and it hurts a lot, so be kind to yourself.
Grieving is deeply painful. Give yourself permission to do whatever you need to do to feel better, as long as the things that are helpful to you, are safe and do no harm. When I lost my godfather, I immersed myself in work and watched an entire season of “selling sunset.” Be kind to yourself and prioritize your well-being, even if others may not fully understand or if it feels indulgent.
Sometimes you won’t feel anything and that is okay.
Grief is a complex experience. There will be times where you don’t feel anything at all. That experience is totally normal and it does not mean that you don’t care. In fact, it means that you care so much that your heart and your brain need a break in order to help you heal and move forward.
Grief is a gift because it will help you connect more with others.
Every life has a story and we will all at some point experience a great loss in our lives. Your personal loss will help you gain a better awareness of other people’s suffering. It may also help you better connect more deeply with others. The more you lose, the deeper you can love.
Consider affirmations.
An affirmation is a positive statement in the present tense that is repeated out loud to oneself. The intention of affirmations is to instill a sense of well being, strength and encouragement. I am an affirmation advocate and I have personally found them to be extremely helpful. Some of my favorites when I am grieving are “I am strong and I can handle anything” and “My family is happy, healthy, and safe.” I suggest you write your own and say them in the mirror in the morning. Here are some good ones for inspiration: Affirmations to help deal with loss.
Find comfort in how others experience grief.
A post on reddit called “Grief comes in waves” was written 12 years ago and has been viewed over 1 million times. It was shared with me years ago and I still find comfort in reading it now as I navigate through my own grief.
If you are having trouble feeling, make a shrine.
My modus operandi is to compartmentalize. Because of that tendency, it is really important that I consciously engage with my grief. To help, I created a shrine in my house displaying photos of loved ones that I lost. Sometimes when I look at these pictures I feel sad but the photos help me connect with my emotions and honor their memories. As my uncle once told me “someone only truly dies when you forget them.”
Consider professional support.
It’s really hard to lose someone. There is a ton of evidence that grief counseling, specifically grief groups, can help you as you move through the stages of grief. If you find it helpful to talk to someone, Lavender can help. Many of our psychiatric nurse practitioners at Lavender have specialized training and interest in supporting clients process loss. Reach out to us if you think grief counseling could be helpful. We look forward to meeting you and helping you navigate your feelings.
